Dear Goldie,

I am   puzzled and disturbed as oftentimes when I discuss with my friends about same-sex marriage, they always accuse us Christians of being without love. They always asked why we are against the marriage of two persons (of whatever sex) who love each other. 


Dear Puzzled,

Yes, Christians are often accused of being unloving because it may be our attitude, tone or behaviour that gives the impression that we are dogmatic, bigoted, aggressive or proud. If so, we need to change but I suggest we must also be clear about what exactly is wrong with same-sex marriages. It is not just allowing two same-sex persons who love each other to legalise their relationship. It is more than granting them their rights or giving everyone freedom to choose.

There are far-reaching consequences if the marriage legislation is changed. I will list only a few here.

The Root

Humanist activists who advocate same-sex marriage hold the worldview that religions, especially Christianity, restrict and repress sexual conduct. Hence, they insist that any sexual expression and exploration between consenting adults should be encouraged. They believe the traditional family unit may not work for everyone and people should be free to build a family structure that suits them.

In countries where there are same-sex laws, premarital sex, homosexuality, pornography, adultery, abortion and polygamy tend to be acceptable in their societies.

The Freedom to Choose Your Gender

Humanist activists have already managed to enforce the following.

In the US – The Department of Education stated in a letter to schools and colleges in May 2016: “Schools should treat transgender students according to their gender identity and allow them access to sex-segregated activities and facilities even if it makes other people uncomfortable. The school must follow whatever sense of internal gender the students said they had, without asking for documentation or proof of medical diagnosis or treatment… those who do not comply could have their federal funding stopped…”  

In South Australia – Even before it becomes law in Australia, a mandatory policy for South Australian schools allows students to choose their bathroom, uniform, sporting team and sleeping quarters, according to their chosen gender without the consent, consultation or even notification of parents. In countries where marriage has been redefined, “optional” programmes, such as this Australian Safe Schools programme, have become compulsory.

In Canada – In 2017, the Canadian Ontario Liberal Government passed legislation Bill 89 that virtually declares that the state knows better than the parents. The state is empowered to take kids away from parents who do not conform to their gender instructions. This is an unprecedented example of government intrusion into the home.

In Australia – In October 2017, the Family Court ruled against a father who tried to stop his 15-year-old daughter from undergoing irreversible female-to-male hormone treatment. He argued she was too young and had been brainwashed by two doctors “treating” her. Both the doctors are also members of associations that “encourage gender diversity and acceptance”. This is likely to happen again in the future in situations where gender is considered “fluid”, and where parental rights and common sense are trumped by harmful ideologies.

The Fatherless

Jason Wong, who worked in the Singapore Prisons Service for over 20 years and is the founder of the Yellow Ribbon movement (helping prisoners to get back into society), has found that a high percentage of prisoners came from dysfunctional homes.

He has seen enough to realise that fathers play an important role in these broken families – having no father to model after, the prisoners looked for love and security from all different sources such as sex, gangs, drugs and homosexuality.

So, he founded the Dads for Life movement, stressing that having a mother and especially a father, is an important factor for normal, healthy children. Same-sex couples who wish to have children by adopting or IVF will bring up their children either fatherless or motherless.

God defined marriage

Christians believe that God created male and female and invented marriage.  The two purposes of marriage are to have children and for emotional and physical intimacy. He intended a married couple to complement each other in the different male and female traits. Homosexual and lesbian behaviour does not fulfil these requirements. We cannot re-define marriage to change what God has defined and therefore, Christians do not endorse these relationships.

Our response

However, although we stand firmly on our worldview, beliefs, principles and values, we must respect and love those who hold different views. We should not impose or force our views on others; neither should we leave them alone and not care that they do not know the truth. 

Our responsibility is to convince and persuade them with accurate and scholarly research from sociology, physiology, psychology, etc. that what God has instructed will eventually be proven in reality to be the best for humans.

I suggest you read up, study and research this subject so you can be informed.  When you discuss with your friends, let your attitude be respectful, loving, humble and pleasant. And pray that they will be open and willing to listen. 


Asian Beacon: Oct-Dec 2017 (Vol 49 #3, p40 & 42)