THE HAPPY PASTOR
By Pastor Chris Kam
I was asked: “Do you find pleasure in your work as a pastor?” This is a rather interesting question for someone like me who has been in the pastoral ministry for many years. I was recently asked too at a pastor-staff breakfast: “Apart from being a pastor, what else do you want to be?” I was caught by surprise for a moment because I had up to this point never thought of wanting to be anything else after leaving my career as an engineer.
To the first question, my answer is “Yes”. Let me describe my pleasure through the example of a recent Men’s Breakthrough Weekend.
I was driving home with some men and celebrating our camaraderie when I felt a sense of déjà vu that had hit me after many different events over the past 24 years in the ministry. The same questions popped in my mind: Why do I keep doing what I am doing? What keeps me going in the people ministry?
When the questions came that day, I felt deep satisfaction and gratitude that the lives of some of the men (who had attended the weekend event) were changed forever. All the money, time and effort invested in organising the event were worth it. Some had made peace in their hearts with God, some with people, and some with themselves. We had not conjured up some clever programmes to move these men in that direction but we totally relied on the Holy Spirit, who could do far more than we ever could. We were merely channels of His blessings. There’s nothing we could do to effect changes in the hearts of these men (John 15:5) except to obey His voice and direction as we took them through a process of self-discovery, healing and purpose.
We had laughed and cried. I had rarely seen a room full of men in tears. We had fellowshipped and made new friends. We had broken the myth that it would take a long while for men to be real, open and vulnerable, although that is generally true as men try to be strong and macho in the face of daily challenges, influenced by the “real men don’t cry” cliché.
At that weekend, something special happened and we learned how to be supernaturally natural in our humanity. One man, who had made his share of mistakes in life, shared with relief that the root of all of men’s problems seemed to be the same. Others realised that they had journeyed far too long alone by themselves. The younger men found older mentors, and the older ones had a new lease in life, realising they did have wisdom and life experiences to impart.
Fathers learned to affirm their children more, husbands appreciated their wives in greater depth and sons realised how unappreciative they had been to their fathers. Text messages of love and appreciation were sent out with gusto as a practical assignment in one session and because it was not a habit for some, there was much laughter when one man told of how his text message to his wife was replied with “What is wrong with you?”
Self-awareness of their heart’s wounds, carefully concealed by years of denial or self-preservation, soared to a level never experienced before and they could certainly look to the future with greater hope. Healing took place when they were able to share their life stories, and for many, that was the first time they had done so in the presence of other authentic men.
Satisfaction from service
The great sense of satisfaction is simply this: Pointing men back to their Heavenly Father and drawing their spiritual humanity and personhood from Him. The state of unrest and confusion among men often comes from the fact that they are trying too hard to find their fit as spiritual beings in a natural world. They don’t even know what that means! They don’t realise that it is their spirituality that sets them apart from other creatures. We humans are the only ones that are drawn to worship a higher Being. We are created to find that spiritual sense of belonging and purpose as a man, son, husband or father in the context of a loving relationship with God.
Men find it hard to connect their heads to their hearts. We know a lot, but we find it hard to appropriate the right knowledge in our hearts to passionately follow through the most important things in our lives. The quest for authentic manhood is a process, not an event. Events build up a high for a moment. They are needful to provide the necessary boost, but it is the processes that maintain the lifelong change for the better.
By all means, go for retreats and conferences, but meet with fellow believers in the Lord with similar passion to maintain and sustain the long-term growth. Keep meeting regularly with other men to hold one another accountable. Get feedback from those closest to you to find out how you are doing. Above all, maintain your daily time with your Heavenly Father. Know that He takes delight over you every day.
Sorry for digressing but you have a glimpse of where my ministry passion is.
So, back to the million-dollar question: Why do I keep doing what I am doing? It is simply to help the people that He loves and died for, to help them find dignity and belonging as people made in His image. I am reminded of the exhortation in Hebrews 13:17 (NIV): Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.
In a nutshell, if pastors find their work a joy, then their members will find their place in church a joy. Members are keys to making the work of pastors a joy by their confidence and submission and in return, they will be happy to do that when their souls are lovingly watched over. It’s a catch-22 situation. One affects the other to reciprocate.
May I put it in a clichéd way: Happy pastors produce happy members, and happy members produce happy pastors.
Therefore, finding pleasure in our work as pastors is crucial to waking up on the first day of our work week looking forward to work/ministry. My greatest pleasure each weekend at our church celebrations is to shake the hands of many I know personally. I know what many don’t about their backgrounds held in confidence – reconciled marriage at the brink of a painful divorce; sexually abused person nursed back to wholeness; recovered substance abused addicts on the way to recovery; single mothers who were alone before finding a big family in church for their children; children with absentee fathers finding spiritual fathers in the Body of Christ; ex-prostitute transformed to a new life; recovered and restored homosexual with a family of his own; person at the verge of suicide finding new meaning in life in the midst hopelessness… The list goes on and on.
Do I find pleasure in my work? The pleasure isn’t so much in what I do, but being part of something bigger than myself. I think I can go on doing what I am doing because the love of Christ compels me (2 Cor. 5:14). That is the greatest pleasure in my work – to discover God’s unique calling in my life and working hard and pleasurably at it.
Chris Kam is the Senior Pastor of Damansara Utama Methodist Church and was instrumental in the transitioning and development of the church as a cell church. Married to Stella, they have three sons: Ian, Shaun and Ashton. An electrical engineer by profession, Pastor Chris is passionate about training people to achieve their potential in life.
Asian Beacon: Oct – Dec 2018 (Vol 50 #4, p12-13)