See His Grace in Your Wilderness

The times in your wilderness are extremely precious and they should not be despised.

Are you experiencing the slowing down of things during this pandemic? Are you pressured with all the ‘How-Tos’, ‘When-Tos’, and ‘Where-Tos’? Are there voices that are accusing, criticizing, or threatening you? Well, you are not alone. 

It has been a year of adapting to this new way of life where things are, unfortunately, still uncertain, and unforeseeable. For some, lockdowns are a hectic time while for others, they are quieter. Or it could be a combination of both. There is no doubt however that this pandemic has brought us into a season full of challenges and anxiousness on a scale that our generation has never experienced.  

Let me begin with my COVID-19 lockdown journey. 

Personally, as one who is working part-time, studying full-time, and volunteering in several church ministries, it has been especially challenging. I lost count of the amounts of tears I shed. Throughout this one year, plans were continuously delayed due to unexpected lockdowns. Things seemed to slow down to a certain extent, yet expectations were rising. The fear of being unable to reach these expectations took a toll on me that led me to a point of intense restlessness. There were voices that whispered, ‘I am not good enough, I am not doing enough, and I did not do what I was supposed to, which was why I did not see any fruits’. Sounds familiar? But the best thing was, God is ever faithful. As I sought Him for answers, He exposed my heart and the lies of the enemy through His Word and a dream and He led me to a place of perfect stillness in His presence where I experienced an overflowing peace that I will never forget.  

The pandemic has led us into a challenging time where situations often appear unforeseeable. Such unforeseeable events lead to even more uncertainties. In times like these, we are imposed with various expectations, either from ourselves or from people around us, which can be devastating when improvements are not seen, or when cases seem to lean toward the negative side of things. These situations can often even be threatening. Expectations and threats can lead to extreme stress when things seem to get out of hand. We become restless and this drains us mentally and emotionally so much that it could affect our daily chores and rest. 

Restlessness functions as a sign that tells us that something is wrong, and it is important to tackle it and to search for the root cause by bringing it to God. There is no other Being that knows us as well as our Father in Heaven who exposes our hearts and tests our minds. We see this in the story of the Israelites during the days of Moses.  

In the Wilderness

Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt, and for forty years, they were tested in the wilderness. The Israelites were told that they were to possess the Promised Land and I believe that this quest must have been fixated on their minds constantly. Unfortunately, due to their unbelief, their journey went into complete stagnancy for forty years and they remained in the wilderness without being able to move forward. This state of stillness became a testing ground for the Israelites. I believe that the Israelites must have been overwhelmed with a ton of questions than the ones they already had, as were shown through their unending complaints and rebellion.

You see, there is a great significance when we talk about ‘wilderness’. As much as wilderness is known as a place of dryness and barrenness, it is also a ground of stillness. We seem unable to move forward, and worst of all, we might even think of going back to the ways we are familiar with, like the Israelites who were familiar with the ways of the Egyptians. What do we do then? It is either we move ahead of God’s timing, or we turn back to our old ways, or we remain in the present and wait on God. Certainly, it is better to wait on God, but it requires us to trust in Him.

But let us be real, the wilderness is not a place we would want to be in, either physically, mentally, or spiritually. However, the wilderness can also be a beautiful place of humility where God lovingly exposes our hearts to make us more like Him by strengthening us in our faith. Let us see what happens when God leads His people into the wilderness.

1. Exposure of the Hearts 

“And you shall remember that the LORD your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.” (Deuteronomy 8:2)

It is due to unbelief that God let the Israelites wander for forty years. Unfortunately, they failed the test when they refused to allow God to change them. Like the Israelites wandering in the wilderness, we tend to have questions after questions. As humans, we are trained to understand everything and to be in control of situations, especially during a crisis. But what happens if all of these are taken away? 

The wilderness exposes our areas of unbelief for the Word of God says that without faith, it is impossible to please God (Heb 11:6). Are there any areas in our lives where we have the fear of being out of control? Are we reacting impatiently as did the Israelites? These could possibly be the reason why we are restless! We strive too hard in our lives and we are too busy and mindful over so many things that we fail and forget to see how much we need Him. But because our dear Father always remembers us, He leads us into the wilderness to heal and provide for us. This in turn leads us to taste His sweetness even more.   

2. Taste of His Grace 

“So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the LORD. Your garments did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years.” (Deuteronomy 8:3,4)

The wilderness brings us to a place of intimacy with our Father. The Israelites failed to realise His tender mercy and grace. This place of stillness opens our eyes to see God for who He says He is, for it is in the stillness that He reveals His works, and we get to know God (Ps 46:10; Heb 3:9). Our eyes should be placed on our God and not on the storms that seek to bully us with fear and anxiousness. Our lacks are exposed in the wilderness so that we can see His grace unfold by providing us with all that we need: love, peace, joy, rest, strategies, and even material provisions as we give ourselves a chance to know our faithful Father. 

The times in the wilderness are extremely precious and they should not be despised. It may be hard but as we learn to cling to Him every day, we begin to know Him personally and intimately. We can taste His grace that is truly fathomless, His compassion that is unquestionable, His gentleness that is incomparable, and His provision that is immeasurable. His promises truly stand as we depend on His faithfulness (Ps 37:3) and allow Him to strengthen our faith in Him. Our experiences with our dear Father in the wilderness are the ones that will cause us to cry with total surrender. As the verse of a song by Hillsongs (With All I Am) says, “I will walk with You wherever you go, through tears and joy, I will trust in You”.

Dear beloved of God, are you facing lack in any areas during this pandemic? Take some time and linger in the presence of the Father. It is because He remembers us, He wants to help us, and He wants to unload our burdens and cares. What shall our responses be? We can either choose to humble and trust ourselves and our situations into the careful hand of our Father or we choose to rebel against His lovingkindness as did the Israelites. Remember, dear beloved of God, not all the Israelites managed to enter the Promised Land. Let us not miss the season of His abundant grace as He teaches us to hope in Him in our wilderness. Be assured that He never fails.  

About Rebekah Siah

At the time of the publication of this article, Rebekah Siah is pursuing MA in Postcolonial Literature in UKM due to her reading pleasure. Besides reading, she enjoys writing, composing, and playing music as platforms to express herself.