Should We Return an Eye for an Eye?

Dear Goldie answers the question of should you get even with the one who hurt you.

Dear Goldie,

I can’t believe it when I saw him after ten years.  The trauma I went through under my boss is as fresh today as on the day he humiliated me in front of the other staff; his sneer, his ridicule, his cutting words are still affecting me. I can never forget how stupid he made me look. Now my opportunity has come to give it back to him.  He has just been recruited in my father’s company and I am the office supervisor. Do you think I am justified to revenge? I know as a Christian……. What do you think? – Yong

Dear Yong,

It is obvious you have been severely hurt by this person. Your anger may seem justified. However, I can see that you are having doubts. Is the Holy Spirit saying something?

Let me try to suggest what is happening to you now. Ten years ago, you were badly traumatized.  You suppressed your anger and frustration which was your way of dealing with your hurt.  Unfortunately, this way of handling your problem resulted in a bitter root forming deep in your inner being. Then recently, you meet this man again and his presence triggered off the buried bitter anger.

Your Right

Sure, you have the right to be angry or even take revenge but if you hold onto that right, the buried bitter root will eventually cause more damage.

Since your brain records everything that happens in your life, over the years you may have experienced some temporary relief, but God warns that to let bitter roots remain will someday, somehow, some way, resurrect and cause trouble for yourself and others.  “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” (Hebrews 12:15)

The Consequence

How will it cause trouble and defile many? Likely in three of your relationships:

• With God: you may feel guilty, fearful of His condemnation, punishment, or judgment if you go against His teaching.
• With self: you may fight feelings of inadequacy, self-rejection, blaming yourself, etc. Physical problems may accompany these emotional difficulties.
• With others: small irritations may trigger over-reactions of uncontrollable emotional outbursts of rage, violence, depression, etc.  People may distance themselves from you.

The Solution

The good news is God has provided a solution for you to be set free. He wants you to face the past and deal with it His way with His help. He can help you let go and remove your past hurts.

Forgive

Preferably with the help of someone, declare aloud “I forgive xxxx”.  Why must it be aloud? Because the enemy needs to hear it (evil spirits can’t read your mind) and also so that your friend can witness and affirm your words. Your declaration of “I forgive xxxx” is in obedience to God’s instruction that “If you forgive others, your father in heaven will forgive you.”  (Matthew 6:14). Forgiveness does not depend on your feelings or your ability to do it.  It depends on your obedience to do what God says. It is a decision to obey God’s instruction. Releasing forgiveness is for your own good, not the perpetrator’s. It need not involve him.

Confess

Having forgiven your perpetrator, you need to confess your sins of anger, revenge, evil thoughts, etc. and ask God to forgive you. After you do this, receive God’s assurance that “He is faithful and just to forgive you your sins and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Thank God for His mercy in restoring your relationship with Him by your releasing forgiveness and confession. You are now righteous in His sight and “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).  

Cut Off

Next, use the divine weapon of the Name of Jesus to cut off all the toxic memories of that particular hurtful event: the place, the sights, sounds, words, emotions, etc. and ask God to remove them, pulling out the sting, poison and bitter root out of your mind and heart. God will do it supernaturally in the spiritual realm and you will be set free in the natural.

Cast Out

As a follower of Jesus, you have been given the power and authority to cast out evil spirits. “The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” Luke 10:17.  So, bind and command the spirits of anger, hate, pride, self-pity to leave and go where Jesus will keep them. You may have to repeat this if they try to disturb you again.

Fill Up

Invite the Holy Spirit to fill you with peace, joy, love, etc. At this point you may feel your burden has lifted.  More feelings of relief and freedom will follow as feelings usually follow action.  Soon you may genuinely be able to “pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew. 5:44)

Enjoy Freedom

To maintain your victory, strengthen yourself by regular Bible reading, prayer, fellowship with Christians, obedience to God’s instructions, etc.

I have suggested that instead of carrying out your own desire to get even, you do it God’s way which is the biblical, spiritual, supernatural, effective, powerful way, taught by God and enabled by Him.  Try it, it works.

– Goldie