I Doubt It!
By Ngoh Peng Teck
“He is alive again?” I half-shouted in disbelief. “Don’t expect me to believe that! When a man dies, he’s gone forever.”
“But we saw him,” said Philip, “He was standing right here. He showed us his hands and side, and we knew for sure it was him.”
“That’s just not possible…” I began, only to be interrupted by Mary.
“I saw him too, in the garden. I had gone there before dawn and found the tomb open and the body missing. As I wept sorrowfully, someone stood behind me and asked, ‘Why are you crying; whom are you looking for?’ It was Jesus.”
“Ah, you must have been mistaken in the dark of early morning and through tearful eyes. Anyway, you must have been so anxious to see the Lord that you mistook someone else for him.”
“No, Thomas, in fact, it’s just the opposite. I had not expected to see the Lord alive at all. I thought that it was the gardener until he called me ‘Mary’ in his own distinctive style. It was definitely the Lord!”
“There must be some explanation for that. The rest of you were all here, cowering from the temple authorities and mourning our loss for the past three days. You were under emotional stress, and the setting was ideal for mass hallucination.”
One of the brethren chipped in, “Not all of us saw him here. Cleopas and I spoke to him on the open road to Emmaus. We were talking despairingly of the events of the last few days when he joined us. Nothing was further from our minds than meeting him alive. We did not recognise him even though he walked several miles with us, interpreting what the scriptures say about the promised Saviour. It was only after he divided the bread during supper with us that we recognised him. How blind we were!”
“All right, all right. You can all believe what you will, but just don’t expect me to go along. Dead men don’t walk around and talk! If you don’t mind, I think you are all just too simple-minded. There must be a logical explanation for what you thought you saw. As for me, unless I can place my finger in his hand and touch his side, I cannot believe he’s alive.’
Over a week later, we were all together in the Upper Room with the doors securely locked. What were we to do now? We had no idea. Anyway, there was nothing we could do except wait until the authorities gave up looking for us.
During those days, nobody reported any further appearance. I took the opportunity to air my scepticism. See, it’s over a week since you all reported seeing things! Where is he? Let one say again, “Unless me…”
I stopped short because everyone else’s face registered surprise and lit up with joy. I quickly turned around. Someone had appeared out of nowhere. He looked like the Master.
His eyes singled me out. He held out his hand, “See. Put your finger into my hands and touch my sides. Do not remain sceptical. but believe!”
I did not need the proof I had demanded. It was him, all right. He was victorious over death. The next instant, I was on my knees before him, exclaiming,” My Lord and My God!” He was, at the same time, very personal and very awesome to me.
Jesus said to me, “You believe because you have seen me. How happy are those who, without seeing me, can believe.”
How true his words! Many in the future will not have the chance to encounter him in physical form yet will have the faith to accept him as Lord and God. How happy are they!
[The above testimony of Thomas Didymus, one of the twelve disciples, is recorded for us in John 20:19-29.
Often called “The Doubter”, Thomas has done a great service to us and to all people through the ages. He doubted that we might need never doubt. We were not alive than to be sceptical about the resurrection of Jesus, but Thomas’ ‘scientific’ approach silences any intellectual problem we may otherwise foster. That the doubting of Thomas is included lends credibility to the scriptural record of the resurrection. Thank God for honest doubters.]
About the writer
Ngoh Peng Teck was raised in Melaka, graduated as a pharmacist, served in Penang, Petaling Jaya, Taiwan and Singapore. For many years he was involved in Asian Beacon in writing, editing, planning, etc. After retirement, he was appointed supply pastor in Segamat Wesley Church until 2010. He now resides in Singapore with wife Catherine, a daughter and grandchildren.
