By Ruth Yong Wang Theen
Have you ever been caught in a tug-of-war, wondering if life is better spent single or with a partner? I have. I longed to meet the right person, yet in past relationships, I realised they were not who God had for me. It left me feeling torn apart, questioning whether I was missing out or if this was, in fact, the path God intended for me.
Does God see my longing? Does He care? What if His plan looks different from what I imagine? In moments of loneliness, it’s easy to believe that singleness is a gap to be filled, but Scripture tells a different story. “The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right” (Psalm 84:11, NLT). If God is not withholding something, then perhaps He has given something greater—Himself. “You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in Your presence” (Psalm 16:11, NIV).
Our identity is not defined by our relationship status
For years, I believed singleness meant incompleteness. Society reinforces this notion in countless ways—from romantic movies to the well-meaning, often frustrating question, “When are you going to settle down?” In church, the focus on marriage can make singleness feel like a forced waiting period rather than a calling of its own.
But God’s Word tells us otherwise. “And in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.” (Colossians 2:10, NIV). I am not missing a piece; I am already whole in Christ. Whether I remain single or one day marry, my identity does not depend on my relationship status but on the God who created me. His plans for me are not delayed. They are unfolding right now, exactly as He intends.
The Apostle Paul, in fact, describes singleness as a gift: “I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another” (1 Corinthians 7:7, NLT). This season is not a punishment or a limitation—it is a gift.
A season to cultivate an undivided heart
One of the greatest blessings of singleness is the ability to focus on God with undivided attention. Paul speaks of this when he says, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32, NIV).
This does not mean that married life is less spiritual, but rather that singleness provides unique opportunities for undivided devotion. This is a season to deepen our prayer life, to serve in ways we might not be able to if we had family responsibilities, and to fully embrace the presence of God. When we invest in our relationship with Him, we find that He truly is enough.
An invitation to know God deeply
Therefore, instead of seeing singleness as a waiting room, what if we viewed it as an invitation? It is a time to grow, discover God’s purpose for our lives, and serve without distraction. It is a time to cultivate deep friendships, pursue passions, and strengthen our walk with God. “Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you” (Psalm 37:5, NLT).
God has not forgotten you. He is writing a beautiful story with your life. The question is, will you trust Him enough to embrace it?
