Three Defining Marks of a Life Well-lived

Many studies have been conducted and a plethora of literature is available today on how to live well and age well. The common denominator in all of these is the need to belong to a healthy community. A community of people who relate to one another in a deeply meaningful and highly enriching manner. Members who love, care, and support one another. And this is what the Church of Jesus Christ is truly designed for and Christians, of all people, are immeasurably blessed.

In this article, however, I would like to look at a life well-lived from an individual’s perspective. What is needed at a personal level if we are to live life well and age well too? There are three defining marks I would like to suggest.

Firstly, one’s life is marked by humility. It is a quality that attracts God’s mercy and favour. In two passages of Scripture, the Bible repeats the exact same words: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5). The latter passage further commands us to clothe ourselves with humility towards one another and to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand so that He may lift us up in due time (1 Peter 5:5, 6). What an affirmation and a promise! In fact, there are dozens of verses in Scripture that talk about humility or being humble.

When we are humble it means we are teachable. That we want to learn, grow, and mature. Growth and maturity is an endless life-long process. This is such a needed posture of the heart and an important trait in life.

When we are humble, we will treat every person with dignity and respect. We will never look down on, abuse, or take advantage of any person. This is important for us as Christians because every human being is created in God’s image and is therefore endowed with worth and dignity irrespective of their background.

A humble person will take time with people and make time for people. There is a personalness about him or her with people. A humble person shows deference to people and speaks well of people. He or she always has a positive and encouraging word for others. This is supremely exemplified in the life of Jesus. No one is too unimportant, too small, or insignificant for Him. Jesus made time and conversed with the Samaritan woman at the well when no Jew would wish to have any contact with a Samaritan, much less a Samaritan woman (John 4:4-15). Jesus spent time with the hated tax collector Zacchaeus (Luke 19:5-7) and called for blind Bartimaeus when everyone was trying to put him down and shut him up (Mark 10:46-52). Jesus had children brought to Him so that He could lay His hands on them when even His own disciples were trying to shoo them away (Matthew 19:13-15). When we are personal with people and pay attention to people we reflect so much of Jesus in our lives. That’s how we touch hearts and change lives.

The Good News Translation of the Bible further says, “He (God) has no use for conceited people but shows favour to those who are humble” (Proverbs 3:34). We oftentimes think that a humble person is a pushover or could not be of much use. This cannot be further from the truth of Scripture. It is the proud that God cannot use. A humble person has inner strength, is steady and secure. He or she is never pushy, domineering or controlling. Such a person is rested, contented, and enjoys God’s favour and bides His timing for the blessings. He never clamours for His favour but it will come. God has great use for such people.

Secondly, there is a need for accountability if a person wants to have a well-lived life. It is often the lack of accountability in life that gets us tripped over. The result is we do not live life well nor finish well. Apostle Paul writes, “Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody” (Romans 12:17b). He further writes, “For we are taking pains to do what is right, not only in the eyes of the Lord but also in the eyes of men” (2 Corinthians 8:21). So, the lawyer’s dictum we often hear: “We must not only do what is right but also be seen to be doing what is right” comes right out of Scripture. In fact, everything about life and living comes from Scripture and if we live by its teaching we will live meaningfully, attractively, and powerfully.

Besides holding ourselves accountable to God, we must also hold ourselves accountable to people whom we respect and honour around us. These people can ask us anything and everything about our life and living. For example: “How is my walk with the Lord like? Am I spending time in the Word of God and in prayer each day? Am I learning and growing? What about relationships with my family members, loved ones, friends, colleagues, classmates, and others? What about my relationship with the church and my involvement in the life of the church and cell group? How am I spending my time, what am I reading and watching, where do I go, who am I hanging out with and how am I using my monies, gifts, and resources? How am I taking care of my health and what am I doing with regard to serving, reaching out and being a blessing, influence and impact to people around me?”

These are accountability questions we should be asking of one another. This is not to act just as a check on us but more so to encourage and inspire us to make our life and time count for Jesus. Scripture says, “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15, 16). We want to ensure that we maximise our life, time, and opportunities on earth. Hence, we are to act not so much as watchdogs ready to pounce on one another for our mistakes but rather as eagles to help and inspire one another to soar in the Lord together.

The third and final defining mark is to be ever grateful throughout life. A life of gratitude and thanksgiving is so crucial for all of us in life. Scripture commands us to “give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). We are not to give thanks for all circumstances but in all circumstances. In the midst of pain or struggles we can still give thanks. It is to do with the attitude and posture one adopts in life. We mature more through pain and struggles than through comfort and ease when we adopt a right attitude in life. And we are what we are today all because of the grace of God and His grace is truly sufficient for every occasion (cf. 2 Corinthians 12:9).

A grateful person is never grumpy or grouchy. Such a person is always filled with peace, joy, and thanksgiving. Such an attitude and demeanour would often be infectious too. What a wonderful atmosphere a grateful person creates and cultivates! Grateful people are not only lovely to be with but even better still to live with.

May we all reflect such attitudes and attributes so that not only our life is well-lived on earth, but it is also life-impacting and life-transforming to people around us.