by Rachel Wong
I was 35 and at the peak of life when I received the diagnosis: triple negative breast cancer. I could not believe it. I had just summited Mount Kilimanjaro earlier that year; my body felt its best. How could this have happened to me?
So many questions plagued my mind, but there was no time to process them.
What was happening to my body? Did I have enough finances to pay for treatment? How would I inform my manager, and what would work look like? Would I die?
There was so much to wrap my head around, but doctors were already arranging for the necessary operations and post-op treatments.
Some days, I would wake up in the morning wondering if it was all just a nightmare. It was only when chemotherapy began, and my body began to feel its effects, that reality hit me like a tonne of bricks.
There were many sleepless nights. I cried out to God, pouring out the emotions I felt no one else could understand. Every time, His assurance and peace would break through the fear. I also believe the support and prayers from family and friends carried me on days that felt particularly overwhelming.
Following God into the storm
After nine months of treatment and recovery, I visited my oncologist for a follow-up and was dealt another shock. The medical team suspected I had yet another cancer. A biopsy on my thyroid and surgery confirmed it. All over again, doctors began putting together a treatment plan.
I remember vividly that I cried uncontrollably in the ward. “God, are You joking with me, or punishing me,” I thought. At the same time, the surgeon was recommending that I remove the rest of my thyroid the next day due to cancer history. It was a tough decision.
How I wished to hear God’s audible voice, telling me what needed to be done next. In the end, I agreed to the surgery and recommended treatment plan.
By God’s grace, my physical recovery was easier this time around, but mentally I was struggling. I had not received the answer I wanted, yet I knew God is sovereign and in control. My relationship with God was not mere knowledge; I could feel and sense His presence every step of the way. My heart knew He was real, but there were times my head struggled to comprehend why He allowed this to happen.
Eventually, I went into remission and obediently went for my periodic follow-ups. In my heart, I was counting down the years and told myself I’d have a small celebration on the tenth anniversary of being in the clear.
A cancer diagnosis for the third time
A decade rolled by without incident, and on my 10th year follow-up, I excitedly waited for my results.
However, my heart sank when I saw my doctor’s grave expression. A biopsy of my breast confirmed I had hormone-positive breast cancer. It was not a relapse, nor metastasis. It was a new, different cancer.
The walls within me broke. For so long, I’d tried to stay positive and follow my doctor’s orders. That day, I was unable to withhold my tears and informed my doctor that I did not want to be treated any longer.
In retrospect, it was not the fear of death that came over me. It was the thought of once again walking the rocky, painful path of surgery, recovery, treatment and hospital runs. The thought of it exhausted me.
“God, I know You are sovereign but why me? And why three times?!,” I remember crying out in my heart. In that moment, I felt only despair and helplessness. But God, in His unchanging love, once again reminded me that His plans are higher than mine.
I recomposed myself and sat down to begin a conversation I’d grown too familiar with — speaking with my oncologist on treatment and recovery plans.
Purpose in the pain
God has truly been good. He has shown me there is purpose in my pain. My hospital runs became a catalyst for conversations with other patients and caregivers, an opportunity to share my story.
I was often told I did not look like a cancer patient at all! It was a perfect opening for me to share that I have a God who takes care of me. I’d encourage them to call on Jesus whenever they felt weak. I prayed with them, offered a listening ear and shared how I had coped.
I thank God for the opportunity that despite still running this race, I am able to share my experiences with others and point them to Jesus.
In October 2025, I went through another surgery to reduce the risk of other cancers. I was not as courageous to face this surgery as all the other surgeries. Honestly, I don’t know what my future will look like. It is not always easy to have great faith, but God desires that we rely on Him. Deep down, I know that God will carry me through and He will never fail me. His grace will be more than sufficient for me.
I know that when I trust in God fully, my future is in His hands. Through three cancer diagnoses over the past 12 years, I am still alive and discovering my purpose. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11, the plans God has for me are to prosper me and not to harm me. I know God is real and trustworthy, and I hold onto this truth.
