For author, speaker and preacher Soo-Inn Tan, relationships matter.
“The most important way to see your life change is relationally,” he said at the launch of his latest book, Growing People Relationally.
Speaking at PJEFC Heritage Centre on 27 October, Soo-Inn shared his journey of growing in ministry. Becoming a preacher was not in his sights; he had set his heart on dentistry ever since coming to faith in 1969.
He remembers an exchange with his mentor, Dr Roger Capps, where he asked why more people didn’t become preachers.
The answer rattled him: “God is calling, but His people aren’t listening. People like you, for example.”
Convicted, Soo-Inn started listening.
Since 1985, he has journeyed with people through full-time ministry – teaching, preaching, and building personal relationships. Alongside his work as a dentist and pastoring two churches, he also serves as director of Graceworks, a training and publishing consultancy committed to promoting spiritual friendship in the Church and society.
To see people change, walk with them
He describes his feelings toward the new release as “low-key excitement.”
“[I’m] excited because the book deals with a subject that defines my ministry – spiritual mentoring. Low-key because I still struggle with inflicting another book on the world, and there are already so many books on mentoring,” he said thoughtfully.
Throughout the evening, Soo-Inn offered a thoughtful overview of his writing, while pastors and friends shared warm recommendations.
“The irony is that I actually enjoy preaching more than mentoring and discipling. I’m happiest when I stand here and talk about that!” Soo-Inn laughs, before adding, “But what I enjoy most isn’t always what’s most effective.”
After 40 years in ministry, he’s convinced of one thing: The key way to see people change is by walking with them personally. There’s no shortcut for that.
Growing People Relationally captures those four decades of lessons – convictions, insights, and experiences drawn from discipling others and being discipled himself.
“Jesus’ way of shaping life is taking 12 people on a three-year road trip,” he quipped. While the concept isn’t new, Soo-Inn believes its urgency hasn’t faded.
“I wanted to lay down the basic biblical and practical principles of life-changing relationships. I’m hoping people will take the book, improve on it, and adapt it to their own context.”
Our relationships reveal our maturity
In the book’s third chapter, he explains why relationships are the mark of Christlikeness.
“When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, He cited the two main relationships of God’s people: love for God and love for neighbours.”
For Soo-Inn, maturity is revealed in the quality of our relationships, with God and with others.
“It is in walking with God that we find the motivation and power to love others. When we commit to serving others, we find ourselves drawing closer to God and to His people.”
Two pastors, Rev. Alexa Ho of PJEFC and Ps. Robin Liew of SSMC, shared why other Christian leaders consider the book essential reading.
“This book gives us the why,” says Rev. Alexa Ho. “I know all the spiritual language to tell people how spiritual I am. But at the end of the day, our maturing comes from people walking with other people.”
She hopes churches will rediscover the joy of spiritual friendship and mentoring, commending the book not just as a tome to read but something to practice.
Becoming like Christ starts with relationship
Ps Robin Liew of SSMC shared his view of Soo-Inn, emphasising how the author’s life is a testament to the book.
“He [Soo-Inn Tan] embodies, he lives, and he demonstrates what he writes. The messenger is the message.”
Ps Robin also spoke about the message contained within the book. “The book is easy to read. And it’s just 76 pages! It defines what spiritual mentoring is, explains the objective and outcome, and shows different variations of what it could look like,” he said.
His advice to readers was simple yet profound:
“Don’t just read it as another book. But I think, look at it again and ask the Lord, how can we apply that to wherever He’s placed us?”
As the formalities wound down, two groups formed – one at the book table, where copies were quickly snapped up, and another around Soo-Inn himself.
He was signing books, but more than that, he was engaging, listening, and answering questions with the same warmth and insight that filled his pages.
Pr. Robin’s words rang true: the messenger truly was the message.
Through both his words and his life, Soo-Inn reminded everyone present that growth toward Christlikeness always begins on the most human level – in relationship.
If you’d like to learn more about Soo-Inn or purchase Growing People Relationally, visit Graceworks.
Cover Image: Soo-Inn (second from right) with men he journeys with through 3-2-1 (from left) Lim Wei-En, Jasper Sim and Dev Menon.
