Having received a few feedback regarding certain entries in our competition, we feel we need to clarify a few things:
- This competition is based on each writer’s individual experience and provided they can testify to them being genuine, we consider all testimonies valid and eligible for running. We hold to the guideline that each writer is entitled to their own opinions about their experiences, and in their expression of said opinions.
- Currently, this is still part of an ongoing competition. As such, the articles listed on this page are still under the prerogative of each writer and Asian Beacon will not meddle in any way with any content by any writer. If we ever publish any articles under the name of Asian Beacon, we will clearly state our stand on our statement of beliefs.
- This competition is judged purely on the writer’s testimonies and not on the finer points of theology. While the competition is still ongoing, in all cases, and in line with our respect for each writer’s individual testimonies, we adopt a ‘spirit rather than the letter of the law’ approach to each writer’s testimony.
- The Asian Beacon team will endeavour to its utmost to be fair to all participants, without any discrimination, prejudice, or favoritism to any single participant.
- In all cases, the Asian Beacon team will hold true to the conditions we have outlined in our Terms and Conditions for the competition. You may find these terms on https://asianbeacon.org/writing-competition/
Asian Beacon would like to reiterate here that we are all members of Bible-believing churches and we hold to the evangelical creed. We thank those of you who have raised your concerns and hope this will help answer your questions.
Great Is God’s Grace
by CMK
Journeying with Jesus
My first tangible encounter with our Lord Jesus Christ began not by chance but by what I consider divine appointment when a busload of fun-loving Asian American young adults crash-landed on the doorstep of a Chinese American church my father pastored in the United States of America after he brought our whole family there in order to pursue his postgraduate degree. In retrospect, I never expected how much of an impact the partnership between my church in Illinois and the church these older Spirit-filled siblings in Christ belonged to would quake my spiritual life and inner world when one fine spring afternoon, a rambunctious but truly not unruly group of Chinese Americans asked for permission to enter the church and for consent to approach some of us younger kids if we wanted to join them for a weekend escapade to an obscure clearing in the woods.
Little did I know I would spend time learning from and loving these more matured brothers and sisters as we delved into deep life-and-death discussions over campfires munching on marshmallows wedged between two chocolate bars and participating in gruelling group games that would pass paintball off as child’s play. I not only developed firm friendships but also gave my life to God in that camp. I must confess that I was initially a bit reluctant to join these spunky souls because I didn’t know if I could trust them with my life, much less my spiritual life and on hindsight, I’m thankful to God He protected me and the other youngsters from any untoward harm since some Christians could actually be wolves in sheep’s clothing. That enlightening experience strengthened my desire to know who this God was who wanted to know me more intimately than I had ever imagined and who intended me to seek out friends in life to aid in my spiritual formation. Growing up in a rustic environment in a predominantly Malay neighbourhood, I did not have much of what a spectator would deem a Christian childhood because life in Malaysia was a waking nightmare due to being picked on by everyone from kindergarten to music teachers merely because of my scrawny stature and I hated my formative years before we moved to the States when I was seven years old. I do remember receiving much love, though, from my parents and certain Sunday School teachers from the church my father pastored in Malaysia who invested their lives into ensuring I understood the greatness of God’s grace and how lavish is His love for each one of us, young or old.
Moving to the United States was an exhilarating adventure for me although God’s sovereignty was manifested when I nearly drowned in an apartment swimming pool, had it not been for my mother’s alertness and reflexive thinking to ascertain that I was drowning after she saw my head bobbing up and down from the deep end. This near-death incident happened before we moved to the seminary campus where my father and mother studied. From catching fish at a small and shallow pond on campus with shiny but cheap lures under the keen gaze and watchful tutelage of a gentle Japanese American named Kenji to cycling on my trusty, sky-blue bicycle along the densely forested pathways to the seminary library to soak my eyes deep in Greek mythology literature, I may not have lived the American dream but I certainly did live every earnestly inquisitive schoolboy’s dream. As a result, there wasn’t much time allocated to study and I sheepishly recall mischievously leaving my stacks of accumulated homework at the door of the school when second grade ended, and I was due to change school to another institution. However, I’m sure my parents were more fearful of my overall safety than they were of my preliminary academic progress as I would be gone the entire day cycling the length and breadth of the seminary campus in search of the next treasure to experience.
Sundays were a dreadful affair with having to wake up early in grogginess as my father drove our family to church for the morning service. Couple that with the nastiest but free Chinese food anyone has ever cooked, and it was a recipe for culinary and physical jadedness! Despite that, several church members were some of the warmest and generous Americans we ever had the privilege of knowing and befriending. And the commonly Malaysian term ‘auntie’ and ‘uncle’ wasn’t alien to that community either. I made friends with Auntie Sara Chan’s son, Joseph and apart from attending church seated together, we enjoyed playing Super Nintendo a few times each week, much to the envy of his older and less amiable sisters.
Other than those shared experiences along with forming other friendships with the multiracial kids on campus, my life in America was mostly self-directed and my spiritual life planed on a plateau before spiking during the spring camp and other ensuing church events when I became a bit older and more responsible.
Entering into Escapism
I distinctly remember returning home to Malaysia very dejected and demoralised at the thought of having to start all over again and leave behind a plethora of pleasant life and spiritual life experiences.
I was also diagnosed in North America with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and would grow up only to see the world and shake my fist at God in anger out of abject adolescent angst. I’m glad I discovered God for myself in the US because for the next many years, I admit I piggybacked on my father’s faith rather than claim my faith in Him as my own.
Misunderstood and maladjusted, one of the things I’m most thankful for despite having lost an opportunity to mature socially is getting the chance to be homeschooled after I was pulled out of government high school in Kuala Lumpur due to severe bullying. It was in my homeschooling years that I developed a keen interest in reading and writing and consistently scored an A+ in book reports and other
written assignments. I am grateful to God that He allowed me to receive a solid linguistic foundation in the States.
Back in Malaysia, I blossomed in musicianship as well and went on to be a part of many prestigious orchestral outfits. I suppose this was the start and end of my entry into an escapism of sorts. I was so involved in music and other extracurricular activities that I neglected my spiritual walk with Jesus which likely formed the bedrock of my gradual drifting away from my faith and security in Him. It was in these experiences that my musical dreams became one of my idols.
Serenity in His Sovereignty
Because of my eventual indignation of not being able to continue pursuing my dream of becoming a professional musician in Malaysia, the Lord Jesus has been sovereign in preserving my life from reckless events that could have endangered and ended my existence. I can certainly echo the words on one painting where Jesus carried me on His mighty shoulders when there appeared to be one set of footprints on the shore of the turbulence of my ocean of emotion. Jesus also later sent His Holy Spirit to be my rock and refuge by comforting and counselling me during these troubled times.
Utterly Underdeveloped
I don’t remember much of the years of my early and mid-twenties because of so much emotional tumult that I sort of blacked it out in my subconscious to avoid dealing with it face-to-face. It was in this decade that I lapsed into the onset of severe clinical depression and suffered the loss of many friendships and more so the loss of any semblance of relationship with my Triune God. The one humorous episode that stood out to me upon reflection of my psychological condition of ADHD and depression was what my frank and friendly Iraqi psychiatrist with ADHD said to me to reassure me. He told me, ‘Don’t worry if you think you hear voices from other people who did not call you – I do, too!’ It just goes to show that with determination diligence, and God’s help, we can rise from the ashes of our condition and achieve great things!
Seeking the Saviour
These days, I’m recovering and crawling out from the aftermath of my adolescent and adult anguish. I lead an active Bible Study group and craft questions every week to facilitate deep deliberation over the book of Philippians course taught by the eminent theologian N.T. Wright. Through this study and through my life and spiritual life experiences, I have come to understand and appreciate the uniqueness, faithfulness, majesty and sovereignty of the character of the Triune God. I have by no means ‘arrived’ nor am I saintly nor am I where I’m supposed to be, but I take solace and refuge in the truth that I’m no longer who I used to be. All glory to God.
