Having received a few feedback regarding certain entries in our competition, we feel we need to clarify a few things:
- This competition is based on each writer’s individual experience and provided they can testify to them being genuine, we consider all testimonies valid and eligible for running. We hold to the guideline that each writer is entitled to their own opinions about their experiences, and in their expression of said opinions.
- Currently, this is still part of an ongoing competition. As such, the articles listed on this page are still under the prerogative of each writer and Asian Beacon will not meddle in any way with any content by any writer. If we ever publish any articles under the name of Asian Beacon, we will clearly state our stand on our statement of beliefs.
- This competition is judged purely on the writer’s testimonies and not on the finer points of theology. While the competition is still ongoing, in all cases, and in line with our respect for each writer’s individual testimonies, we adopt a ‘spirit rather than the letter of the law’ approach to each writer’s testimony.
- The Asian Beacon team will endeavour to its utmost to be fair to all participants, without any discrimination, prejudice, or favoritism to any single participant.
- In all cases, the Asian Beacon team will hold true to the conditions we have outlined in our Terms and Conditions for the competition. You may find these terms on https://asianbeacon.org/writing-competition/
Asian Beacon would like to reiterate here that we are all members of Bible-believing churches and we hold to the evangelical creed. We thank those of you who have raised your concerns and hope this will help answer your questions.
The Jonah Moment
by Jonah Hope
“God, why is this happening to me?” “It was not supposed to be this way” “Why are you not helping me?”
I found myself sitting along the walls of a shopping mall sidewalk, watching cars as they drove by. Traffic was light on a typical Monday morning and businesses had just begun opening. Such questions were running through my mind and I was overwhelmed with sadness and feelings of discouragement. I dare say even being very angry with God. I had no income and my credit cards were maxed out. I often found myself in a situation where the prime decision for the day was whether to spend the last RM10 on lunch or dinner. If it was dinner, it would be a single portion shared with my wife.
I lashed out at Him for not prospering the works of my hands. I was pondering how it started out so promising but how it all turned out so wrong. I was supposed to succeed in the food and beverage business. Dreams of being a successful self-made man achieving financial freedom before the age of 40 fueled my ambitions. Life would be so awesome; we would not have to worry about money since there would be abundance. I was also angry with myself. How arrogant to think that I could easily succeed where others failed. Financial freedom before the age of 40 was out of reach.
I had taken a 6-months work sabbatical to open a French inspired restaurant after a year of careful planning and preparation. We moved to East Malaysia for a fresh start despite constant pleas from my wife to live life simply. There were many times she knelt and begged me with sobbing tears to stop this madness, but I hardened my heart. There were also huge opposition from well-meaning family members, but I tuned out. I told myself I was doing this for us when it was only for selfish personal ambitions – this was MY dream
My business partners were the only people we knew in East Malaysia. So, we were on our own with no family or friends to support us. However, things did not go as planned.
Business did not pick up after 6 months and despite putting in grueling 6-day weeks, we made just enough to keep the business alive. There were many moments where my wife and I felt oppressed and unjustly accused as tensions ran high and disagreements ensued between business partners. We felt small and hemmed in on all sides when partners’ brought families and relatives into discussions.
Meanwhile, the hustle and buzzle of life was picking up around me, paying no attention to my deep ponderings. People were getting to work while others were out and about running errands at the bank or getting weekly groceries. As far as the world was concerned, I was irrelevant and at most, just a very small cog in the wheel called life. The world did not care about me, so I turned inward and continued wallowing in self-pity.
I could relate with Jonah the Prophet and what his last thoughts may have been as he sank deeper into the depths of the ocean (Jonah 1:12-16). Like him, this is the end for me – not just of hopes and dreams but also of respectable life. Oh, the humiliation of turning back, facing ridicule and admitting wrong for being so certain of this chosen path. Like Jonah, my disobedience to God had spilled over and deeply grieved my wife. Oh, how in arrogance I magnified what I wanted to do and convincing myself that it was God’s calling. I minimized the fact that the life decisions I made were not just mine to bear but had huge implications to her. At this point, I was reduced to choking sobs and walked to the pier so passersby would not see my sorry state.
But like Jonah in the belly of the huge fish, there was a moment of clarity and an acute sense of God’s presence (Jonah 2). It was at that very moment, for the first time, I prayed the most heartfelt prayer I knew how. I told God that I have sinned and asked His forgiveness. The many times I used His name to convince everyone including myself that the decision to move was a divine calling, I confess and was sorry. I told Jesus I give up and do not know how to carry on – my plans were not working out and I have no idea how to fix this. I told Him that I fully surrender to Him and asked Jesus to reveal His ways which are higher than mine:
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)
God continues to work in gracious ways and perfect timing. Business did not turn around and my personal finances still stayed in the red, but I felt something shift. Where I asked for Christ to enter our lives, He sent brothers and sisters from our cell group to encourage and spur us on. Many times, church friends came to support our business and recommended others to visit our restaurant. They continually reminded us that our identity was not defined by life’s successes or failures but solely in Christ. In low and difficult seasons, brothers and sisters stood in the gap and prayed for us. It was not surprising to see them stop by often so we can bow heads together in prayer. It became such an accepted practice that my staff would see them, say hi and help seat them at the furthest table at the balcony with a view of the glorious seaside.
We were constantly reminded of how God is good; He loves us and He is almighty. A younger cell brother told me something that still comforts my heart when I am fearful and anxious in present difficulties – “Small god, Big problems. Big God, small problems.” There is scriptural truth in that statement since there are more than 50 references in the Bible for the exact phrase “Do not be afraid” and 5000 more with similar meaning. There were numerous occasions where Jesus himself said this to His disciples (Mt 10:26, Lk 12:4, Jn 6:20, Jn12:15).
God gave us many lasting memories and experiences. My wife and I had the privilege of experiencing many first times in East Malaysia. It was the first time we had a more vibrant prayer life. We were regulars in corporate morning prayer and always felt refreshed from having attended. There is something that happens when we come into the holy presence of God to worship Him, baring our brokenness and standing in the gap to intercede for others as we pray for ourselves. Back in West Malaysia, it was dreadful to even think of stepping out from the comforts of the bed at the wee hours of the morning. However, sunrise is much earlier in the eastern region and thus more bearable.
It was the first time we joined the Alpha Marriage course and by God’s grace, it really saved our marriage. We found closure for past wounds and resentment. My wife and I had more real conversations about our feelings, hopes and aspirations but with one difference – it was less about our individual needs but about what is wholesome and good as one united body centered on Christ. Since then, difficult conversations rarely ended with arguments and “You do not understand me” tones. The mental picture of husband and wife standing on opposite sides of a line were replaced with both on the same side (together as one) facing Jesus on the other. We are both work-in-progress, none greater than the other but all striving to follow Christ daily.
Oh, how sweet the many first sunrises and sunsets of just the two of us strolling down the pier or sitting on deck chairs in the many hotels close to the city. We now have young children, but we do fondly cherish these wonderful date nights and how we must have them again when the kids are older.
There were many more first times – joining the ushering ministry, cell group fellowships, having a pastor as our faith mentor, wonderful friendships, gastronomic food – but to recount all that here would take up more words than allowed within the confines of these pages. Today, when we face challenges, we are reminded that He is a faithful God; He cares and is ever-present in both the high and low seasons of life. This experience in the wilderness has prepared us for the challenges ahead to fully trust and depend on God. I had selfish big plans, but God had a better one – to find my true first love, my Abba, my Father.
The LORD makes firm my steps because I delight in Him…though I may stumble, but He will not let me fall. (Psalm 37:23-24 paraphrased)
